Have you ever seen a contemporary strongman, particularly from Nordic countries like Iceland? Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, ‘The Mountain’ in Game of Thrones, is affectionately known as “Thor Björnsson” by most people and doesn’t look anything like a bodybuilder. Also, the fact these things can be seen as mutually exclusive is pure nonsense.
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I’d recommend all of you download the Norse Mythology ebook written and narrated by Neil Gaiman, which should unequivocally prove that Thor was known for feasting and drinking at least as much as he was revered for fighting. If you’re curious about checking this out for yourself, you don’t necessarily need to trudge through 13th Century Old Norse literature. If you were expecting a cover model for Men’s Health magazine, you weren't paying attention. Still, the idea of getting annoyed about how Thor looks now just comes across as a bit moronic - the first game literally described how he was going to look multiple times. Among Mimir’s many descriptions of Thor are “fat dobber,” “sweaty bawbag,” “thunder lummox,” and "the biggest, butchering bastard in all nine realms." Obviously Mimir is not a fan. The first game addresses all of this, too. Thor tears his wedding veil off and caves Thrym’s skull in, before drunkenly proceeding to murder every single jotunn in the room. On top of eating an entire cow to himself, he drains several casks of ale, causing Thrym to be immensely confused - this is supposed to Freyja, the elegant Vanir goddess of love, beauty, and sex? Eventually, Thor, under the pretense of being Freyja, is awarded Mjolnir in honour of the Aesir’s agreement with Thrym. Given that Freyja herself is completely averse to the idea of marrying this giant - mostly because she’s annoyed at Loki, who pisses everyone off approximately once a minute - Thor dresses up as her and attends the ceremony in her place. Here, Thor loses Mjolnir after it is stolen by a giant named Thrym, who will only return the hammer in exchange for Freyja’s hand in marriage. While he drinks half the ocean in the Lokrur cycle - as in, literally half of it - there’s one particularly well known story called the Thrymskvitha, a poem from the legendary Snorri Sturluson’s iconic Poetic Edda. What’s more, Norse mythology’s Thor is canonically pretty heavy. He’s a Norse deity, which means he is a total bastard. I’ve always thought the first game grappled with this extremely well - we get explicit details about Thor wiping out the jotunn and it’s pretty obvious that his favourite hobby involves drinking too much and saying, “Here, lads, let’s do a genocide.” He is not the heroic paladin of The Avengers. If you look back on the Poetic Edda and Prose Edda, which are the two primary sources for the Norse mythology we know and love - well, I love it at least - you’ll notice that Thor was a bit of a prick, actually. Good mythology, very Asgard, many hammers. God of War’s Thor is actually accurate to the source material, which should be unsurprising when you consider that MCU Thor comes from an alien planet with access to, like, spaceships and shit. Related: Every New Game And Announcement From September's PlayStation Showcase I mean, it’s the God of Thunder! Obviously he’s jacked, right?
You know Thor is played by walking abdomen Chris Hemsworth, and so it’s easy to see Thor as a tall, blonde, hammer-wielding stud with a 12-pack. We’ve all seen the MCU - even if you say you haven’t watched a single film, you’ve at the very least been exposed to it. The gamers’ grievances are mostly attributable to the latter. This is mostly because after three long years, we’ve finally got a proper look at the hooded assailant from the God of War post-credit scene’s face - and body. The gamers have struck again, this time demonstrating a breathtakingly historically illiterate view of who Thor, the Norse God of Thunder, actually is.